Letter of Memories
by yukixed
Summary: "Even if the whole world objects to it, I will never leave him." -Kise Ryouta


Letter of Memories

Story by: Yuki

Author's words: This is written from Kise's point of view.

* * *

They say I can throw away my past…

But I can't.

They say I can forget about you…

But I can't.

They say I shouldn't blame myself…

But I can't…

They say you'll never wake up…

But I believe you will, Aominecchi.

* * *

"Aominecchi, should I go to your place tomorrow?"

"Do what you want."

"Then can we go on a date?"

"Whatever."

"…Then can we have sex?"

"Yeah sure."

I stopped.

"Why don't you have any reaction to what I'm saying at all?!"

"I replied you, didn't I?"

"Screw you."

"…"

"Why don't you care about me?"

I began to ask the same questions again. This was our everyday life; me being the insecure one and Aominecchi being the easygoing one.

"…I would die for you, that's how much I love you."

My heart skipped a beat… Was he serious about what he just said? His eyes definitely weren't lying.

* * *

To be honest, I regret it. I regret making him say those words.

It's because of me that he's in this state now, so what can I do to bring him back?

* * *

"I told you, I can't go out with you."

"Please Kise-kun, even if it's just in name, please let me be your girlfriend!"

"If you just want to be a 'model's girlfriend', go find someone else."

"B-but…"

"Look, I told you I'm not recruiting girlfriends. Leave me alone."

I pulled Aominecchi's hand as I walked away, he was there to see if I rejected her properly and so I did. But I didn't notice, the knife she had hid. It was revenge against me for trampling on her pride, but the one who took the blow was Aominecchi. All to protect me, that idiot used his body to block the knife.

* * *

Now look who's lying down in this white room?

Even if I'm a model, all I can do is get him the best treatment and the best hospital ward while working my ass off at work.

I wonder when was the last time I heard his voice?

A month ago? I think it was way back…

A year? I think it was longer…

But all I can do is stay by his side.

No matter how much I pray it doesn't work.

* * *

"Due to the extreme blood loss and knock on his head when losing his balance, he might have suffered a concussion."

"Will he wake up?"

"Maybe, but it may take a long time; we never know."

* * *

But I'll still wait, a year, 3 years, 8 years or even forever.

So take your time, but wake up while I can still be here.

* * *

"Kise-kun, it's about time you further your career overseas."

"Why?"

"You're quite known locally, but we thought we'd expand your popularity overseas. This way, won't it also be easier for you to earn money for _his_ medical fees?"

"… I'll think it over.

* * *

Aominecchi, remember how I said we'd be together forever?

I meant it.

It doesn't matter whether you're now in this condition, or whether we'll die together.

I won't leave you, I won't.

* * *

"Kise, how long are you going to waste your time struggling to pay for his medical fees and support yourself?!"

"Mom, please, just let me do what I want."

"Don't forget! You have to support our family too! We don't allow free-loaders here! In the first place, he's a guy!"

"But…"

* * *

But I love him.

I love Aominecchi.

So even if the whole world objects to it, I will never leave him.

Until he leaves me.

* * *

"Kise, are you still waiting for him to wake up? Kuroko's worried."

"Thanks Kagamicchi… But just tell Kurokocchi, I'm fine. I'll wait."

* * *

Hey Aominecchi, how many years have you been asleep?

I'm now 25 years old and am living in America.

Are we looking at the same sky?

Are you awake yet?

Hey, guess where am I now?

In a place, where the walls are white, the beds are white and even the people walking in and out are white.

Probably in a place no better than yours if you're still lying down there.

* * *

"It's in the last stage, we're sorry."

"Is there no cure?"

"… I'm afraid, there's none at the moment."

* * *

Sometimes I wonder who I'm writing this to, since I already got that call a few days ago.

Yeah, it was about you; it's the only call I ever pick up these days.

Aominecchi, remember how we used to play basketball one-on-one?

My legs feel numb and I can't move now.

Every single passing day, my vision just gets more unclear every second.

Despite holding onto the photo of us back in Teiko, I can hardly make out our faces.

It's lonely in this white ward when I know the call of joyous news won't ever be coming no matter how much I wish for it to.

I've waited for 5 years, only to get a call of bad news.

Piecing and holding myself together with that tiny glimpse of hope was all I could do throughout these 5 years in America.

Everything just came crashing down without a hint or a warning.

I don't know what to wait for because I'll never feel the warmth of your hands again.

If I knew it'd turn out like that, I would've stayed in Japan.

I would've held onto your hand every single day in that white ward and followed you once you left.

Now I'm all alone in this white world, where soon, I would meet the same end.

* * *

"Kise-kun?"

"Kurokocchi…"

"… I'm sorry but, the doctor called to say… Aomine-kun just passed away this morning."

* * *

It's not Kurokocchi's fault, so why apologise?

It's not the doctor's fault either.

It's mine.

It's all because we got together.

If only we never met.

But if we didn't meet, I wouldn't be in love ever.

And I don't have the confidence to say I won't fall in love with you again if we met again in our next lives.

To me, I'm glad I met you because you gave me all the precious emotions I have today.

* * *

_"Kise."_

* * *

That's your voice.

Why do I hear it now?

Am I hallucinating?

* * *

_"Kise."_

* * *

It's not a hallucination.

I… I can see you.

With your hands held out to me and smiling like before, did you come for me?

I'm an idiot, aren't I?

For crying tears of joy at a moment like this.

But perhaps, this ain't so bad either.

* * *

The beeping sound came to a halt and reached a long ear-piercing beep.

The papers fell from my hands and I let my eyes close.

"Kise, you've tried your best till the very end."

"Yeah, thanks for coming for me."

* * *

Hey, Aominecchi.

Let's meet each other in our next lives again.

I'll try not to fall in love with you, so this tragedy wouldn't repeat itself.

I'll try, but it holds no promises.

* * *

"Ouch!"

"I'm sorry, did that ball hit you?"

"Eh?"

* * *

It was as if we had met, before any of this had happened.

_Did we?_

* * *

Yuki: I'M BACKKKK FROM EXAMSSSSS AND THE EVENT I NEEDED TO PREP FOR~ Love at First Sight is still in a lot of work in progress cuz I can't seem to properly plan the plot so it's still going to take some time for the side stories and stuff. Meanwhile, yes, this story is angst, AGAIN.

Firstly, this fanfic may seem pretty confusing so I'll explain it here.

This fanfic is basically saying about how this is a rondo, a talk about Kise and Aomine's past life where both had died, through Kise's point of view in the form of a letter he was writing before his death. Kise tries to convey how much he hoped that they could have been together, even if they weren't lovers and that it became more painful for him without Aomine which is why he doesn't want them to fall in love when they meet each other again in their next lives. Kise gives no promises because he knows he would probably fall in love with Aomine no matter what happens and towards the end, they do meet again. Like how the manga and anime shows us the scene of the first time they met when the ball hit Kise's head. The "Eh?" came from Kise, who feels a sense of familiarity, the reason being because he fell in love with Aomine and because of their past lives.

Yes, sorry, it's bitter, really bitterly angst and subtlely sweet in the end.

I can't seem to write only fluff for nuts, so yes, here's the angst, hope you guys enjoy it!

Thanks for the previous reviews on my fanfics, I appreciate them, do give me feedback if you can!


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